Oh, Good Grief! Dealing With The Death of Your Dog

 

 

In Memory of Clarisse Louise Chaplin

10-3-95 to 8-28-13

 

If you've lived long enough, and most of us have, you have dealt with the loss of a loved one, human and/or companion animal.  Then comes the grieving process - a path we'd rather not trod, but a necessary one.  To deny ourselves this journey is to miss out on an opportunity to become a stronger person, enabling us to be a comfort to someone else in their time of need.

Death is an unfortunate consequence of the 'Fall of Man' in the Garden of Eden as told in the Holy Bible from the Christian faith.  It is not an end, rather an eternal beginning.  I am a firm believer that our canine companions, who most of us consider family, do possess a soul, which is the part of us that lives forever.  From the reading I have done, the word used in the Old Testament Hebrew language of the Holy Bible for 'soul' is the same for humans and animals.  A very good book to read regarding this is 'Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates' by Gary Kurz.  It will give you a clearer understanding and much insight that will provide comfort for your anxiety.

Each situation we face when the time comes for our furry loved ones to pass to the Rainbow Bridge will be unique, as will the emotions that accompany it.  For me, it helps to write, because that is so natural for me.  Sharing with friends and family...a physical shoulder to lean on, is an important part of the healing process.  Shedding tears...whether you're male or female, it doesn't matter.  Crying doesn't mean you're weak...it means you're human.  Don't expect for it to 'go away' in a day or two - healing times are different for each of us.  It is not a time for others to pass judgment on someone because it's taking 'too long'.  It is a time for compassion, tenderness and a listening ear...for how ever long it may be needed.  Eventually, the pain will ease, not go away completely forever, but you'll once again recall the wonderful life you shared, and you'll smile again.

It's been a little over four years since I suffered the loss of a companion animal, she was a foster, and she died while in my care.  Even though she wasn't 'my dog', the loss greatly affected me.  This was a life...a moving, breathing creature.  Sugar had it rough, she was a stray brought into a shelter where most likely her life would have ended because she was a senior.  Thankfully, my friend Julie rescued her, and after that our paths crossed twice, unfortunately the second time ending her life due to illness.

Perhaps I'm more sensitive than most, and I know there are those who don't understand my commitment and connection to dogs.  It is truly a tie that binds.  When my little Clarisse passed away the other day, my prayer was that she would go on her own, but that didn't happen, so it left me to 'make that decision'.  Could I really do that? Nearly eighteen years together...that's a long time...my life without her? Hard to imagine her not in my life.  I'm heartbroken.  Yes, life will go on.  I have other dogs in my care who need me.  I know she is in Heaven.  She is no longer blind from cataracts, she is free from the kidney disease that severely diminished her weight...she is whole.  That being said, I am left to deal with the loss. My faith in God will get me through, I am confident of that, and in time my heart will mend.  That void immediately felt in my heart is now filled with a tiny paw print left there by Clarisse.  Dealing with it will not be easy, getting through it will be rough, but loving her was worth it - she truly changed my life and taught me so much.  I can certainly say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.



 

R.I.P. my sweet Clarisse <3

Unconditional Love - An Observation and Application

What is unconditional love? What does it mean to be unconditional? I really don’t perceive it as a human trait…whether we realize it or not, we place conditions on those we chose to love.  Good, bad or indifferent…a person’s appearance has a lot to do with us accepting them to be a part of our life.  We as humans tend to be driven by looks…that is a big part of the attraction equation.  I have had numerous relationships on various levels over my lifetime, as I’m sure you have too.  Most of them, especially those which I thought to be ‘serious’, went by the wayside.  Fourteen years ago, I quit pursuing those kinds of associations.  It’s been less stressful for me, and I’m okay with it – that’s my choice. I no longer need to concern myself with what someone else thinks I should do, be, say or live….ah….no conditions!

 

Over the last five years I have become so involved in small dog rescue that ‘extra’ time is a luxury I do not have – I’m ‘sold out’ and physically spent with those responsibilities.  I’m not complaining, it is a labor of love.  Most people would never take on the magnitude of commitment I have, because it really does not allow for much of a life outside of the continual obligation necessary to try to keep up, which is a daily challenge!  For me, it is an inborn passion….my very heart.  I take it personally and I have very strong opinions regarding the care of dogs.  I do not apologize for it, and I do not back down.  Love me, love my dogs…period! They are family, and if you don’t like that status, don’t come over our house!

 

Most people cannot comprehend the time consumption of tending to multiple dogs, even though they’re all under fifteen pounds.  It is my life.  I rescue senior dogs.  Many of mine are over the age of ten.  If you were to come to our home for the day, especially on a weekend when I’m not working my full-time job, you might think I had ‘saved up’ some chores, but not so.  This is typical ‘day in, day out’.  We go for walks as time, weather and my stamina allows…but certainly not as much as I would like.  I do not go to the State Fair or concerts or ball games or participate in other ‘outside of home’ entertainment.  I rarely watch a movie at home…and a vacation? What’s that? There would certainly be no kenneling of my family members just so I could get away…and I don’t expect someone else to take on the responsibility!

 

There’s always a floor to sweep and/or mop, doggie blankets, beds and pottie pads to wash.  Somepawdy not feeling well….diarrhea, skin issues, nails to trim, an impromptu  bath because somepawdy rolled in poop in the back yard, medications to administer, shots to get at the vet, eyes to clean, teeth to brush, food to prepare (along with the couple dozen dishes to wash later, which I do ‘manually’).  It never ends…if I think I’m done…it’s probably time to wake up in the morning and start all over again!

 

All this brings me to the point of this blog – unconditional love – more of a canine trait than a mortal one.  But in the same sense, my dogs have taught me this over the past many years.  Being so involved with dogs has really brought so much positive aspects to my life – their adoration for me has rubbed off.  There are times I get frustrated and even upset and they are corrected, but never in an abusive or neglectful manner.  I have zero tolerance for that.  My love for them does not have ‘conditions’ attached, just as theirs does toward me.  They may do something they shouldn’t, but I don’t stop loving them because of that.  They are forgiving when they’d like to be ‘the only’ dog, but they’re not…mommy’s attention is very divided…I try to give to everybody, but it doesn’t always happen.  I am spread very thin, and I do the best I can…sometimes when I don’t even physically feel like it.

 

Every domesticated dog deserves a loving home which involves no less than proper nutrition, medical care when needed, a safe, stress-free environment, and to know they are loved.  I understand life can throw a curve ball, and place a person in dire circumstances, sometimes beyond their control, but more often that is not the case and it breaks my heart.  I have picked up a lot of slack of other’s carelessness and irresponsibility.  I will continue to do so as long as God allows, because the need is great and the workers are few.  Dog rescue is a never ending battle.  I know there are many who do more than I.  I am grateful and thankful for each one who is helping on the front lines.  There is no ‘free dog’…there is a constant expense and a lifetime commitment…maybe as long as twenty years.  They are a blessing, their unconditional love for you will never end.  It doesn’t matter what you look like, how much money you make, what kind of dwelling you live in, how old you are or what bad habits you have…they will love you and be loyal to you just the same.  So if you want a true definition of unconditional love, look no further than a dog – they will leave a paw print on your heart fur-ever!

 

The Canine Diet – Naturally: A Starting Point

Feeding your dog is more important than you may realize, especially what you feed.  It is unfortunate that the pet food industry at large has led pet owners to believe ‘their’ foods are ‘complete’, all your dog needs.  The days of when that was my personal practice are a blur, a very distant memory.  I am so glad I have learned better about canine nutrition.  My desire is not only to help my dogs, but everybody’s furry companions.  I love dogs…my goal, daunting as it may be is that every dog is healthy and happy, naturally.

Naturally…something that may seem eccentric or come as ‘news’ to the majority of veterinarians (which is not really their fault), and a concept I’m sure that makes me an antagonist, a thorn in the side so to speak  toward the big pet food manufacturers. Convenience aside…which is what man-made kibble is… raw is best.  Foods which would be consumed in the wild by these domesticated carnivores are truly what is needed in their diet.  Raw, not some overcooked glob with no nutrient value, or even the high-priced prescription diets.  These will not make your dog healthy, as some commercials (falsely) imply.  In fact, quite the contrary, it will most likely bring on unwanted disease and other ill issues.

That being said, my plan is to empower you to take at least some charge of your dog’s diet.  What you do or fail to do can have positive or negative consequences in regard to his or her health over their lifetime.  I know there are those who cannot for physical and/or financial reasons be able to provide the best diet, (which is raw) for their dog.  However, I believe most people can do a few things to enhance the menu.  Really, the savings down the road far outweigh the added expense at present. Most issues dogs encounter are nutritionally related.  Spend the money now by improving the quality of the food, or spend it later when chances are greater that your dog will develop a serious issue that will require medical (aka: veterinarian) intervention.

So, hopefully at this point you’re now thinking, ‘Ok, what can I do?’ Well, vegetables, fruits and herbs are a great starting point.  Vegetables, best used fresh (and organic) or frozen (and organic) are fairly easy to add and reasonably priced.  Using those that are ‘seasonal’ helps balance and support organ function, and in season typically cost less. (Buying watermelon in the winter, especially in the Midwest if you could even find it would be outrageous in price, where apples would be an easier catch).  Most areas across the U.S. have local farmer’s markets – which have a nice variety of home-grown choices.  Just as you would for your own use, wash veges well.  You can lightly steam or chop in a food processor, as this will aid the doggie digestion process (their digestion starts in the stomach, not the mouth like us humans).

 In the book ‘Holistic Guide For A Healthy Dog’ written by Wendy Volhard and Kerry Brown, D.V.M., there is a list of vegetables to use each season.  There are a few year ‘round ones: lettuces, radishes and garlic. (Note: 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder per pound of food 3 to 4 times a week, or one clove fresh garlic per 10 to 30 pounds weight per day is considered safe for your dog).  If your dog is larger or smaller, increase or decrease accordingly.  Garlic is great to boost the immune system and for cancer prevention.  Start with small amounts of these veges to see how your dog’s system will handle them.  If you have any adverse reaction, immediately stop using.

Canine instinct tells our dogs what is needed to balance their system.  They’re smarter than most humans, I think!  This is why they eat grass from time to time (another reason not to spray your yard with chemicals).  A list of all season herbs in the above mentioned book include: alfalfa, garlic, comfrey leaf, watercress, goldenrod, dandelion and rosemary.  You can certainly grow these in your own yard, which can be fun and rewarding, and cut down on expense.  There are many that can even flourish in containers for small areas (apartment balconies, for example).  And dandelions are free of charge…compliments of nature (yet another reason not to spray your yard!).  Of course, you can also mail order those that you cannot grow in your area, and the harder to find ones.  One of my favorite places is Mountain Rose Herbs in California.  They have top quality products, many organic at reasonable prices.   I have ordered from them for many years. You can check out their website at: www.mountainroseherbs.com.  It’s best to combine three to four of these herbs (only use single herbs if using for medicinal purposes)…be creative with the above selections. (Note: use double the amount when using fresh herbs).

I will be blogging a whole lot more on what to use in season to best benefit your pooch.  If you are unsure whether an herb is safe to use for your dog, research it, or email me and ask! (TalkToThePawInIndy@aol.com)  I will be posting more exclusive ‘Chaplin Doggie Diner’ recipes for raw feeding, so stay tuned! I know many of my blogs are lengthy, but there is so much information, and many times it’s hard to condense it without losing necessary data.  The health of your dog, destructive or helpful rests in your decisions – what will you choose?